my drama!

there's lots of amazing pictures that scattered all over the world on how great, dumb dangerous or funny pix and here's some of them!

Onli in the Pilipins!


pissed off kid

gutsy mousey

I found this Rockstar Spoof on you tube and it's so hilarious!!! It's called PopStar and the lyrics are just so hilarious. this guy is so talented in finding all the pictures and videos that suits this song! lol

Enjoy!


I have been cleaning and playing games with my kids, they are crazy about Thrillville it's like Roller Coaster tycoon. And I was too enjoying building and managing a theme park lol!

New Telephone Greeting

Wouldn't it be something, if this caught on, all over the country...?


"GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA."

"Press "1" if you speak English."
"Press '2' to disconnect until you can"

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People who have sons

For those who have sons & those of us who are happy that we don't.

And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Grandmother

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days.. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that called when 2 people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken, but she decided to just tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling".

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called "Bunk Beds". And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you."

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Sick Notes

These are real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district...(spellings have been left intact.)

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh**s. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out] .

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being.It was his father's fault.

15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer fo! R missing school yesterday. We
forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Ple ase excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever,sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids!

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10. My name is Porrest, Porrest Goomp

9. Inay always said that life is like a balikbayan box

8. Lieutenant Dan! Putang ina mo!

7. Lieutenant Dan! Gusto mo ba ang sorbetes?

6. Me and Jenny went together like champorado and isda

5. Mr. President, iihi ako. Na saan ang "comfort room?"

4. My best friend Bubba knew everything there was to know about bagoong. "There's bagoong with rice, bagoong with lemon juice, fried bagoong, bagoong at puto, etc."

3. Those look like comfortable shoes. Sa Payless ba?

2. He invested my money in a prrooot company

1. Tanga is as tanga does.

I am so bored right now that I watch comedy central and also browsed for jokes here are some pretty funny pinoy jokes!
DO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS ?

1. Use BE COOL and I'LL BUY in a sentence. ...
The tourist went to Mayon volcano in I'LL BUY, BE COOL.

2. Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
...(phone rings).....Hello? Who SCHOOLING?

3. Use AFFECT in a sentence. ...
Maria is wearing AFFECT diamond ring.

4. Use ADIEU in a sentence.
...If you are ADIEU, the Arabs will kill you.

5. Use DECANTER in a sentence.
...You can order that medicine over DECANTER.

6. Use DELETION in a sentence.
...The balat of DELETION is crispy.

7. Use DESPISE in a sentence.
...Who baked all DESPISE?

8. Use DIFFERENT and DIFFERENTIAL in a sentence.
...I am looking for DIFFERENT of this boy to get DIFFERENTIAL consent so he can go to the picnic.

AND NOW FOR THE FILIPINOS WHO CAN READ AND UNDERSTAND TAGALOG:

9. Use BORROW in a sentence.
...Ang dumi naman ng BORROW mo.

10. Use CAESAREAN in a sentence.
...Lintek, anak, mag-ingat ka, CAESAREAN mo iyang laruan mo.

11. Use CONTEMPLATE in a sentence.
...Pare, ang dami-daming pagkain, pero, ko-CONTEMPLATE.

12. Use ARTESIA in a sentence (if you don't know what this is, it's a city [or street] at the L.A. COUNTY in CALIFORNIA)
...Nako naman, ang ganda-ganda nang bebot na yun, pero, ma-ARTESIA.

13. Use CADET in a sentence.
...CADET ko si Maria nung isang gabi. Ngayon, ikaw naman ang CADET niya.

14. Use CARDIAC in a sentence.
...Na CARDIAC yung kotse ni Pedro noong isang gabi.

15. Use CENTURION in a sentence.
...Na-CENTURION si Pedro ng tatay niya dahil sa kalokohan niya.

16. Use DEDICATE in a sentence.
...Pag ginamitan ng glue, siguradong DEDICATE iyan. 1

7. Use DELICACY in a sentence.
...Bagal mo... DELICACY mahuhuli na tayo.

18. Use DEPRECIATE in a sentence.
...Sister, DEPRECIATE already, kaya pwede na tayong kumain.

19. Use DIFFUSION in a sentence.
...Brownout...siguradong DIFFUSION pumutok.

20. Use LAITY in a sentence.
...Taga "laity" si Imelda Marcos.

21. Use MENTION in a sentence.
...Ang laki ng bahay nila, parang MENTION.

22. Use ebonic word MOTHA' FUCKA' in a sentece.
...Iho mag-ingat, ka baka MOTHA' FUCKA'

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

23. Use SECOND THOUGHT in a sentence.
...Hindi pa bumibili ng bagong kotse ang mag-asawang si Pedro at Maria dahil magse-SECOND THOUGHT pa daw sila.
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• 
  
• Imelda Goes To Heaven "Imelda dies and goes to heaven. The heavenly court is gathered to welcome all the newcomers to heaven. God the Father is there seated on his throne in all his splendor. The Second Person of the Trinity is there also, and the Holy Spirit, the Virgin Mary, and all the saints. As Imelda enters, everyone stands up � except God the Father, who does not get up from his throne. Jesus, the second Person of the Trinity turns to him, and says, "Heavenly Father, what's the matter? Why don't you stand up to welcome Imelda Marcos? God the Father replies: "I am afraid to lose my seat. If I stand up she will take my throne."

• TEACHER There was this Filipino kindergarten teacher and she was teaching her class how to do the hokey-pokey. She started off by saying, "You put your right feet in, you put your right feet out, you put your right feet in...." Suddenly one of the children said, "Teacher you have to say 'foot.'" So the teacher said, "You 'foot' your right feet in, you 'foot' your right feet out....."
• USE THE WORD A Filipino guy gets stopped by immigration at the airport. Immigration tells him, "Use the words 'chicken not bread' in a sentence. " The Filipino looks around, puts a bag over a woman's head and yells, "Chee kennot bred! Chee kennot bred!" (accent on "she cannot breathe")
• TEAM There were three basketball teams: the White team, the Black team, and the Filipino team. They all didn't know what to call each other. The white team decided to be the "A" team and the Filipinos were the "B" team. What was the black team? -the "E" team.
• USE THE WORD
  
• persuading: Later this year, John F. Kennedy and his wife will celebrate their persuading anniversary.
  
• deposit: When washing my hands, I always turn on deposit.
  
• deficit: Before going into the pool, I always check how dep-i-cit.
  
• protestant: I always get my apples and sag-ing at the protestant.
  
• devastation: I wait for the bus at devastation.
  
• analyze and anatomy: My analyze over the ocean, so bring back my anatomy.
  
• tenacious: Before playing tennis I have to put on my tenacious.
  
• deduct, defense, defeat, and detail: De-duct jumped over de-fense. De-feat first, de-tail last.
  
• associate: I looked in the toilet and a-sso-ciate.
  
• Uno, dos, tres: UNO! Dos tres are on fire!
  
• diniguan: I tried turning on the TV, but no matter how many times I try, it diniguan.
• penis: Before you go out, penis your homework.
  

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What's the ugliest cow in the world?
---Ikaw.

Did you know that Filipinos named Staten Island?
They were passing by on a boat and one said, "Is staten island?"

What did one Filipino monument say to the other Filipino monument?
---Is statue?

What's the deadliest gang in the Philippines?
---the "sini" gangg
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MORE OF THE USUAL

• TENACIOUS - I went to "The Athlete's Foot" yesterday to buy a pair of tenacious.
  
• CONTEMPLATE - I went to a party last night. There was so much food pero co-contemplate.
  
• CURTAIN and KITCHEN - Aray! Huwag mo kong curtain. Masa-kitchen.
• PUNCTUATION - Daddy, pasukan na next week. Kailangan ko ng punctuation.
  
• GUAVA - I just had a haircut. Masa-guava?
• DEPOSIT - Paki-check nga ang banyo. I think deposit is leaking.
  
• ICE BUKO - Nagpagupit ako kanina, tingnan mo nga, ice buko?
  
• PERSUADING - Kiko and Kikay got married on June 1, 1992. So last June 1, 1993, they are going to celebrate their persuading anniversary.
  
• CONCLUSION and OPINION - (Pointing to a door): Conclusion, hindi opinion.
  
• PAMPERS and PAPERS - At the gasoline station, I asked the attendant, "Do I pampers or do I papers?"
  
• DIFFERENCE and DIFFERENCES - If the royal family has a baby boy, he is called difference; if they have a baby girl, she is called differences.
  
• PROTESTANT - Apples, oranges, and other fruits can be bought at the protestant.
• IRAQ, IRAN, EGYPT - Iraq is bigger than a stone; Iran is faster than a walk; and Egypt is smaller than a truck.
  
• PAUL, PAUL, PAUL, PAUL, PAUL - Paul, be carepaul; you might paul in the swimming paul and make a paul of yourself.
  
• CASHEW and SKATE - I want to have a tattoo sana cashew mukhang ma-skate, eh.
• CUISINE - I hope you studied last night because our teacher might give a surprise cuisine Math.

pick me up jokes for everyone! Enjoy laughing!or at least give a little smile!


Final Exam

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. 1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet. "You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet. "Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. 1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."

The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?" "No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again.

"No, and I don't care." replied the professor.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.
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Why Oh Why?

• Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?
• Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
• Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
• Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?
• Why do people go to Burger King and Order a Double Whopper with a Large French Fry and insist on getting a Diet Coke?
• Why is there only one Monopolies commission? Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be to just hire taller dancers?
• Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
• Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
• Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
• Why do we go under over-passes and over under-passes?

• Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• If a person is a vegetarian, does he eat animal crackers?
• If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pans?
• If your car is traveling at the speed of light and you turned on your headlights, would they work?
• Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?
• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats, instead of parachutes.
• What do you have if you have 100 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?.

Just wondering!